Dumb but on My Mind

So as I sit here at 230 in the morning, I've been thinking about something that's been weighing on my mind. I've had pets for pretty much my entire life, and I've always thought of them as members of my immediate family. I've talked to my pets, told them things that no human will probably ever hear. My cat, Truman, has been like a best friend to me for over 12 years now.

Now I have a daughter. It's weird how, at infancy, the child is very much like a pet. She requires food and water and things of that nature, and her diaper's the equivalent of a litter box.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want anyone to think that I'm lessening the importance of my child to that of a common house cat. That's not my point at all.

My point, in this early-morning/late-night rambling, is that even though they have similarities this point, I can look at my daughter's eyes and realize she is listening to me. Actually listening to me. She is going to retain the things I say, to a certain extent. She's going to be able to speak back to me, and make choices on her own. I can already see her eyes and mouth reacting to things I say, and the things I do.

But don't really know where I'm going to us. I just was really thinking that I still haven't really come to the realization of the depth of having a child. It really will make you rethink your outlook on the entire human race. You have a new appreciation for people's feelings and reactions that you may have not cared about before.

I need to get some sleep, but it is said to get that out of my head I should probably write it down. That's it for tonight's little blog. Nighty night.

Oh, I know... so BACK OFF.

Yeah, I've been slacking on the writing. Not for lack of want, but for lack of focus. Between Layla and working things out to adjust our lives, I've been busy. Plus, I spend entirely too much time playing World of Warcraft, but if that's my worst vice, we're doing okay.

Layla is 5 weeks old today. It's hard to believe how quickly this last month has gone by. We've had visits from both parents, as well as from Aunt Renae and our friends here in Texas. She's been to my office to meet the SHOEBACCA.com crew, and even got to see Uncle Justin play a show last weekend (it was acoustic, so don't chastise me for taking my kid to a rock show just yet).

We've been pretty busy, taking care of Layla and trying to keep up with the daily things we can't neglect here in our time of bliss. It's hard to not want to just lay in bed with my baby girl, watching her search for things to fixate on, listening to her grunts and coos, and feeling her death grips on my fingers. She's happy and healthy, and we've been very, very blessed to this point. Last night, she decided that once she was free of her diaper, it was time to try to shoot across the room. Unfortunately, that whole "opposing forces" logic only works when the force is equal to or greater than the object that its trying to move, so instead we got poopy sheets.

Good times.

So my mom and dad came down last weekend for a very short but very fun visit. Aunt Renae flew in to meet her niece as well! The Grandparents and Carrie and Layla and I went to El Chico on Friday night and saw Justin play. Dad's smile when he broke out the Johnny Cash was great. Layla seemed to enjoy herself, especially when she got to hear Uncle Justin sing "The Rain" by her request. ;-)

On Saturday, Opa, Carrie and I took Layla to the fair. We were hoping she'd get her first look at some beef cattle, but they weren't in the barn yet. The cattle that were there were miniatures; Xebu is the breed. I don't understand it; what's the point of miniature cattle? It remains a mystery to me, but they are cute. You could hear all the non-observant types saying, "Aww, look at all the babies." Ha, ha.

We had a great time at the fair, getting to hear new sounds and see new sights. I know Layla's vision at this age is pretty limited (http://www.tinyeyes.com/), but she did react well to the parade at dusk. I can't imagine what goes through her head sometimes, with all the new things to take in. Such a small child and so many things to learn!

We were sad to see Grammy and Opa head back to Missouri, but we are hoping that we'll be seeing them again soon! We are also looking forward to the day she gets to meet her cousin Dori and Aunt Jamie and Uncle Hef!

A couple of weeks ago, I had "the talk" with my boss about working from home. Ideally, I wanted to continue my work for SHOEBACCA.com that I love so much and be able to do it from home, so that I can be there for Layla, but mainly so we can move back home to Missouri where we will have an actual house and all of our family and friends there to be a part of Layla's life.

Yesterday, we came to the resolution that this will work, so starting next week, I will be working from home. I will still come into the office a few times a week for now, to kind of transition everything and to be able to see my friends here, but sometime this fall, I hope to have us loaded up and heading back home. The key to everything right now is Carrie's work. We need a comparable position to open up at the Best Buy in Cape, so that Carrie can continue to work and carry her insurance. Layla is on her insurance now, and with me going to "at home" status, I will lose my company insurance, so it's imperative that we keep Mom and Baby healthy!

When will we be heading that way? It's hard to say, without any definites from Best Buy. Carrie goes back to work on Tuesday, and hopefully that will give her a better opportunity to find things out in Cape. For now though, We'll be balancing schedules here in Dallas. Despite our anxiety over all of this, we got a big dose of stress relief when my boss said we're good. Now we don't have to worry about putting Layla in some damn daycare while Carrie and I are at work.

Thanks to all of you who have sent goodies for the kiddo. We've gotten some pretty cool stuff, as well as some much-needed gift cards. I've been slow on the "thank you" notes, which, if you are a friend, probably doesn't surprise you that much, but they are coming. Thanks to everyone for their continued prayers and well-wishes!

Layla sends her love. For a look a lot of the pictures from the Grandparent visits, go to my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/iceburgtx or to my PhotoBucket scrapbooks at http://s287.photobucket.com/albums/ll125/IceburgTX/. I promise to write something damn funny in the next 5 days!!! :-)

One Love,

D