A Decade in Review... What A Long Strange Trip It's Been

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the second decade in this century, and I still find it hard to believe that it's 2010. I can remember when i was a kid, thinking of how old I would be at such-and-such year in the future. Been there, past it now. Am I old? I dunno; it's all relative, I guess, but I'm feeling my years now.
"Thirty-five isn't old yet," I keep telling myself. Then I find myself waking up with back pain, and stumble down the stairs in the morning to go to work. There is no chance that I will ever have a full head of hair again in this life, which honestly, i'm fine with. Hair is just one more thing for Layla to pull on, and it would probably not be cut right anyway.
Before I begin lamenting my age, let me get back to the focus of this blog, which is a recollection of high and low points in my life during the last decade. Mike suggested that I roll it in list form, but meh; up yours, Mike. Kisses.
This decade saw as many changes as I think we could pack in, from employment, marital status, where I called home and the advent of fatherhood. I think the only thing that was missing from the last ten years was that incredible income boost and the massive weight loss. I'll work on that for the next ten; cool?

The decade started off with me being recently married. I won't dwell on it; we had our ups and downs, and though I loved that woman with all of my heart, things didn't work out, and we went our seperate ways in 2004/05. The first five years of this decade seem to funnel me towards the last five. Decisively so, actually.
The early part of the decade saw the end of Cataphasia and the start of what would become Tone Def All-Stars. Seems like the band is the only consistent thing. How in the hell did that happen?
In the job world, 2000-ish saw me leaving Rapco finally, and taking on marketing duties at Saint Francis. though I loved that job, I hated the politics and ass-kissing that doctors got, and it didn't last but about a year. I had a couple others, including the Charter "retention specialist" job that came about when i was mid-divorce. Somehow, disconnecting cable services seemed to pacify my need to rip people's heads off on a daily basis, and also got me back in shape. I blew that, though, once I started working for Emergenza. I'm getting ahead of myself, though.

A ten year and fifteen year high school reunion came and went, and I didn't make it out to either. Nothing personal, but when you live in the town you grew up in, it's hard to motivate yourself to go to a reunion that is full of people you run into at Wal-Mart. My appreciation for things like that grew when I moved to TX.

I broke my first bone this decade, in 2003, i think. It was a doozy, too. Broke the lower bones in my right leg the night before the Phi Mu Alpha Jazz Festival. I remember being doped up on morphine, telling one of the guys how to set up my PA. I bet it sounded awesome... I still get some pain in that leg now and again, and regret not making the University pay for my medical bills (as does my credit score).

I lost my entire DJ system this decade, too. Some douche pulled up early one morning and hitched up to my trailer, taking away everything. Nothing has ever surfaced from that. Got me out of the DJ business, at least as far as weddings and such go, and it sure made it hard for us to play shows. Grr.

Bought my first house. When Andrea and I were still married, we got the house on N Middle where I live now. It was December of 2002. Established the Man-Man Room, and started collecting crap to fill up every corner. I really need to clean out the basement...

We saw Boston win the series. We saw St. Louis win the series. I felt complete.

This decade also saw many losses. My grandpa passed away at the age of 94. There have only been a few times in my life where I have seen my dad cry, and when we lost my Grandpa in 2002, I can remember my dad saying that he hadn't known a greater man. My grandpa was a man of God, whose life was built around spreading the Gospel to every corner on the planet. He and my grandma lived such full lives; I hope that someday I can look back at my accomplishments like he could.
We also lost my cousin, Gary. He was 41 when he passed in 2007, leaving behind his wife and triplet babies. Cancer took him. I was so mad at God and everyone when this happened. He was so healthy; working hard to put troubled teens on the right path, and a new father to three beautiful babies. Just like that, it ate him alive and he left us. I gave up trying to understand; some things are not meant to be understood. Someday I guess I will, but I miss my cousin.
I lost two friends to suicide this decade; actually, both this year. Things get so tough; I know it. Money and family and trying to be a provider and being with everyone who you care about.... it weighs heavily. I mourn their passing, but wish I could've said something, done something to prevent that last action.

Losses... and gains. I gained a new brother-in-law when my sister married my doppleganger, Darren Hefner in 2002. Later that same year, we were blessed to have my first niece, Dori. Dori's birth was an awakening not only for my sis and D, but for my whole family. It brought us new focus and determination. Dori turned 7 this past Sunday.

As my seperation from Andrea came around, 2004 was ending on a sour note. I was relieving a lot of frustrations through parties and shows, and DJing at Jeremiah's (I hate you, Don). After 2005 came around, I started talking more to the woman who will become my wife on April 24th of 2010, Carrie. Our relationship signaled the turning point in the decade for me.

2005 was a crazy year. It started with me at Charter, choppin' ghetto cable and annoying white trash. As the year progressed, I was burned out on that job, and another opportunity came up through my buddy Kevin. That opportunity would turn out to be a life-changing experience.
I was hired by Emergenza that summer, with plans to start in the fall. I was moving to Texas. I had never lived further than 10 miles from my childhood home, and so this move was scary and exciting at the same time. I knew that i'd have a friend with me, which was a big relief, but I had no idea how it would change my ways of thinking.
I moved to Texas in September, and Carrie would follow in July of 2006, when Kevin moved to Philadelphia to work up there.
In my time with Emergenza, I visited cities all over the country, Germany, Canada and Mexico. I saw so much, met so many friends that I still keep up with, and heard some incredible music. Though things went to shit towards the end, I still have no regrets about that experience. It was a real eye opener, and gave me new focus.
The first year in Texas was especially hard for Carrie and I. I would get home to MO when I could to visit, but it was always so tearful when I had to leave. I can remember the anticipation as I got closer to Cape, knowing I would be holding her in my arms again soon. When she moved to Texas with me, I felt sure that this was going to be our home from here on out, but we see that no matter how sure you can be about something... Well, the best laid plans....

Layla. In 2008, we found out that Carrie was pregnant. You can read all about that below, but yeah... another funnel seemed to form to move us back home to Missouri, and in December of that year, we moved back to the N Middle homestead.

The very tail end of 2007 saw me start with SHOEBACCA.com as a copywriter. My boss, Angie is one of the coolest people i've met, and the company is so fun to work for. She allowed me to start working from home in 2008, and that was another part of the reason we were able to move back to MO. The company is gettting ready to celebrate it's 2nd year of being online, and business is good.

I miss my time in Texas. I miss Justin and Glynda and Molly. I miss my trips to Houston, hanging out at TME and bitching about drop D tuning. I miss my talks with Brad in San Antonio, and running shows in a little Mexican dive on the South Side. I miss visiting Austin, and I miss driving through some of the most beautiful country in the US. The storms, the lack of mosquitos in Dallas... A day doesn't go by where I don't walk through a drive to the office, a beer at a JRB show; I truly miss it all. I am glad we moved back, by my heart aches for those big skies and friendly people. Much love, Texas.

From just married to almost married again... From not knowing anything about kids to timing myself changing diapers Nas-CAR style... From a southeast missouri boy to a world traveler and back again... This decade has been one that I won't forget. Wherever the future takes me and my family, I'll always remember this period in my life as one that rebuilt me. My heart broke, more than once, and I fell in love all over again.

Keep listening to the sounds that your heart plays. Chances are, the melody will be the best sound you will ever hear. The trick is to find the right harmony.

Happy New Year, friends, family and random-ass people who got here on a google search. I hope your 2010 is more than you wish for. Make the best of it!

35 and counting...

So, yeah; I've slacked on the blogging. No apologies; there are other things that just take priority, and frankly, when you write for a living, you don't want to write outside very much. It's kind of the same reason I didn't play music much when I was doing the Emergenza stuff. Meh...

My 35th birthday was today. I'm officially old enough to run for President now, so prepare your votes. I am buying them for $.0001 apiece for the 2012 campaign.

The day went well; we had dinner at my mom and dad's tonight, with the whole family. It was a pleasant reminder that no matter how old we get or how crazy life can be, what matters most is what is easiest to have, which is love. To see my niece's face light up when she sees Layla always makes me smile. These days are the ones that I will try hardest to never forget.

Layla's getting so big now. Carrie weighed her at her parents' house the other day, and she's up to 20.4 pounds. She'll be nine months old on the 28th, and pictures cannot describe how much she's developed. I did finally figure out how to pull the video off of my camera and edit it, so soon I will post some video clips of her doing incredibly cute baby stuff. She's got this toy that she loves. It's like a big mushroom with a chair attached to the outside, where she can run around in circles. She sits in it and walks around the outside just laughing... She's a quick little buggar. Of course, she's not walking on her own yet; her sense of balance is still far from that, but she's crawling all over the place. I'm discovering that there are a lot of things that still have to be "baby proofed," and she's discovering that cords are fun to pull on. Sigh...

Ahh... I need to hit the sack. I'd planned on writing more, but I'm pooped. I was going to get work done after dinner and crank out some wonderful shoes for all of you who shop at SHOEBACCA.com (ahem, ahem), but our network drive was down tonight. While I'm mentioning it, I will plug work. We have the coolest damn shoes you've seen, and it's cheaper than going to Foot Locker or Champs. Plus, for you midwesterner types, there's cool Callyfornia style stuff. Good luck finding it in Cape... :-)

So, I will post some pictures and video and stuff after this weekend is past. Between ridiculous storm clean up, movie shooting, loads of work and trying to have some family time, it's been the week from H-e-double hockey sticks. Oh; I'm trying to work on the not-cussing thing. You know... got a daughter to raise now. ;-)

D

Growing into everything...

We're back in the homestead in Cape, and slowly getting settled in. As you can tell, the balance of working from home, having a child and trying to entertain ourselves has distracted me from keeping up with the blogs as well as I wanted. Such is life; but have faith. Carrie and I are finding a balance, and things are coming together.


The biggest news on our side of the planet is that we are (finally) engaged! We have not set a date yet, but the biggest step is out of the way. I'm sure you are all wondering what extravagant method I used to ask her, but I really didn't. She got her ring Christmas morning, and it's pretty, if I say so myself.


Layla is doing so great; this kid is such a gem! She still sleeps through the night, though she's taken to knocking out late-- around 12 or 1am, which is kind of tough when Carrie has those early morning shifts, but we're making it work. Carrie is an awesome mama.


Layla is learning so fast. She's really developed a great personality. She's not even scared of Cole, which says a lot. We haven't taken her out a whole lot around town, other than to the store and occasionally to go to our parents' homes, but we'd love to see you happy folks, so give us a call. You're welcome to stop by (but call first; I tend to work in my underwear).


We had our first taste of nasty winter weather over the last couple of days. It was a lot of ice and freezing rain, and when that stuff gets to be an inch thick it makes it mighty hard to clear off the steps. Of course, I ran out of salt, so it's down to chipping away at my stairs. Good times... not.

Our power has been browning out; never down 100%, but it has flubbed enough to flash the computers and cable box. Fortunately, we've been up with power and cable, so I've been able to continue to work. There is a firetruck and such up the road now clearing live wires from the road, and i'm worried that one of my big trees in the front yard could snap. Frankly, I'm cool with that; i wanted to trim it up anyway. Hopefully our power will stay up; there's about 100,000 customers with no power in our area, and it could take a while to get them back up.


We took Layla out in the snow/ice yesterday to put her cute snow suit to use. She didn't mind it much, but there wasn't really any snow to play in, just ice, so Carrie held her for a few pics and then it was time to go back in. It's not warming up, and it's realllllly cold in the shade! The ice is thick enough that I can walk across my yard without it breaking, and that pretty much sums up how futile my efforts were at clearing the steps and sidewalk. Sigh...


Time to get back to work, but felt I needed to post an update to our situation. Hope you're all warm and happy!

D