Damn you, karma.

When my trailer with all my sound equipment was stolen a few years back, I took it as a testament to my screw ups and a grand swoop of karma, balancing itself with a Sam's Club sized helping of douchebaggery.

Now, I'm pretty sure that all of my belief in the balance of the elements of the universe and that leading a good life would lend to justified rewards is crap. Sigh.

I finally heard from United Way today, after a call and voicemail yesterday afternoon and an email today, and they offered the position to someone else last week.

I won't rant on this much. Frankly, I'm really jaded and kind of numb to things right now, and don't need to post a scathing blog about how a certain level of professionalism is expected when you apply for a job that requires a college degree.

I will say that this is the latest in a string of disappointments that have hit me in my job search, and I expected more.

I'm really not sure what I'm doing wrong. I've studied on cover letters and resumes. I don't drop it and wait; I do follow through on my application process, and the interview that I had went very well. I dress professionally and come in alert and focused.

Maybe it's the fat. Maybe I shouldn't shave my head. Maybe I should wear pants. Maybe I am just not what someone is looking for.

The killer thing is I have yet to talk to one of my references and have them say they were contacted at all. AT ALL. There is a reason I include professional and personal references in my application process.

I know this is Cape, and there isn't a lot in the professional field. I am willing to do whatever I can to take care of my family, to a certain extent, but as was proved with the DirecTV thing, I need to have a job where I am actually making enough money to pay the minimum bills. I spent half of my paychecks on gas for that job, and it didn't make a dent in our lives. I was working 11 hour days for nothing sometimes.

My dad said that I just need to go everywhere, dropping off resumes and trying to find something that way. It reminds me of a blitzkrieg strategy, but it's different than what I've done so far, and something has to change.

With that in mind, post a comment if you can think of somewhere I might fit in and be beneficial. I'm going to go through the phone book and start putting together stuff tomorrow.

I wish there was a spam-free job hunting website around here. Monster.com was a mistake; I got so many fake job offers after posting my resume there. The Southeast Missourian's classified jobs online are a joke. They aren't kept up to date, in line with what is in the print version. Craigslist is equally useless. Do you have any good suggestions?

* * *

Beyond the job thing, we're in the crunch zone on Bump Watch 2011. We go back to the doctor on Tuesday to find out exactly when Carrie will be induced and we will meet Lawson II. I'm still pulling for July 4, but we will see. All I know is I have a heavy oak bar, a heavy Hammond organ and some random bar stuff to move before he gets here, and arrange both our and his bedrooms accordingly, and I have a week and a half to do it. Yikes? Nah, I'll get-er-dun.

The storms and hail have taken their toll on our house, and we're looking at having to put a new roof on in the next few weeks, too. The kitchen needs some repair work in the ceiling and a paint job, thanks to the Noah-esque flooding we got in April. Water came down the side of the chimney and into the kitchen. Nothing drastic, but enough that it will warrant repainting.

Say a prayer for my cousin, Gina. She was in a bad ATV accident the other night, and is in the hospital in pretty bad shape. One of those freak things, but serious nonetheless. She's an awesome chickadee, and I know she'll pull through this, but definitely needs all the angels she can get.

Cya next time.
D

A Year? Yeah, I'm a douche.

Now that I'm not really writing professionally, I guess I can get back to writing for "fun," and give the world the happy little moments and such that we have.

So, a year has passed. The last update was about the boy's bed and such that we did as a nice little outreach. Kudos, everyone.

We recently did another one of those, getting a boy an iPod Touch and money towards the software to help him out. He is diagnosed with Apraxia and is having speech development issues, and there is some wonderful software to help him communicate. Thanks to those that helped out with that, as well.

So, since June:

Layla turned 2. and 2.5. and 2.75. And doesn't she know it... *rolls eyes*

She's actually developing really well. Her vocabulary is expanding, and not just from the words that Daddy uses while he's driving. She favors her right hand when coloring and stuff, but we're letting her find her dominant hand. I'm encouraging ambidextrous behavior so she can't skip homework when she breaks her arm jumping from the roof to a trampoline or something.

We're closer to potty trained, but not 100% yet. Realistically, we're not even at 75%, but damn close. She understands it, knows the urges, but prefers to hide beside the couch when it's poopin' time. Sigh. Slowly but surely.

Last fall, the week before Thanksgiving, Carrie took a test and we found out that our efforts proved true, and we were pregnant again! Fast forward to now, and we are looking at a possible July 4 birthday for our boy, Lawson David.

The name is taken from my father, Lawson, and hers, David. The David part, for me, also gives a nod to my mom's side of the family and a little one we lost to heart trouble many years ago.

He stands to weigh in around 10 pounds, so we may be inducing on July 3/4. The actual due date was the 8th. Carrie is definitely ready to pop!

Layla is excited about being a big sister. It will be quite the change for her, but I think that she's intelligent enough to realize that she is loved as much as ever, and we'll be reinforcing that.

In my world, 2011 was supposed to be a great year, and so far, it's pretty much been sh*t. Right before the beginning of the year, I went to TX to visit the office and chat up the crew, and basically found out that my time with SHOEBACCA was waning. In short, they didn't need me anymore. Instead of providing the copy that I did, and having a voice and being something different, they just use bulletin points provided by the manufacturer out of their catalogs. Hate to say it, but the spirit of the company died, and now it's just another machine. I got the official word on Feb 16, and haven't found anything worth a damn since.

I'm not bitter, but I didn't realize how huge of a piece of me was in that job. When they wiped my copy from the site, I felt like I lost a child. 3 years of work was gone in a click. Now it's not like it was, meaning that the owners have really made it look like they built this thing from scratch, instead of holding the ropes from 2500 miles away while a core team built everything.

I'm past the bitterness, other than when I read the "About Us" message and wanted to punch a wall. I feel bad for those I rarely talk to anymore that were there from the launch that built it, but that's a whole other story.

So, that happened in Feb., and I've been job hunting since. I did take a sales job for DirecTV, and after 6 weeks of it, I realized I was spending 50% of my money on gas for the job. On top of that, I developed a neuroma in my left foot that made it impossible to work on my feet for 10-11 hours a day.

I have to find something now. It's past finding something that is worthwhile and gives me a career. I realize that might come someday, but as it stands, the coffers are dry and we're getting close to being pinched.

I have had a few good leads, but nothing has panned out thus far. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, honestly, and it's pretty depressing. All I want is to find something local that pays the bills (and that doesn't have to be much), doesn't keep me away from my kids and will be there in three years. After Emergenza and SHOEBACCA, I can't take another crushed dream. I'll effing snap.

Keep your fingers crossed. I got a really good vibe from an interview with United Way, but have been hanging on a line for 2+ weeks. I really hope I didn't miss this window. It could be a life changer, in a good way.

January 30th was Carrie's 29th birthday. About 2am, Truman, my cat of almost 14 years, passed away. I haven't felt loss like that since my grandpa died, and it was (and continues to be) very tough to take. I miss him every day.

Ahhhhh okay. Enough of this; I'm starting to get weepy and such and I don't want my first blog in a year to be crap.

In two weeks I'll have a son, and I hope that that will be the beginning of an entirely new era in our lives. Carrie is so extremely loving and patient through all of these tribulations this year, even though she carries the heaviest load. Even if the walls fall down around me, she and Layla are what keep me going. They're my hope builders.

It's 1am and I need to hit the sack. We have a baby doc appointment at 8am, and I don't need to be a grouchy bastard. I'll do my best to be more progressive with these blogs, especially for you Facebook types that don't see me writing there (which I won't, because it's FB and their interface sucks).

Peace and Love,
D