Classically Strained

This post is going to be a venting post, so if you're not up for "Emo moments with Big D," then go ahead and find something funny on YouTube.

If you've ever had a pinched nerve or a similar annoying pain, then you can relate to my latest issue. It's not physical; my body is in perfect shape as usual (scoff). My problem has to do with work.

It has nothing to do specifically with my job. I love what I do, and the people I work with here are just stellar. The actual problem is much bigger than just my direct issue, but this is where the rant stems, so I'll put it in perspective.

We have an ever-increasing amount of shoes coming in that I have to write about. I'm doing my best to keep up without any major issues, but one recent order caught me off-guard a bit. It is a big Ralph Lauren order; you know, shoes for boring white people and $30,000 millionaires? Anyway, my voice isn't really the appropriate spokesman for these shoes, so writing about them makes my head hurt.

In order to get these shoes online and out of my pile, we decided to use an outside writer to knock these out. You wouldn't think that would be such a big deal, right? Find said writer, give them the needed info to write, and then give the finished product a quick review before posting them for sale.

Finding a writer who can write above a 10th grade level has proven to be the most challenging thing in the world. People cannot write anymore.

First, there was a writer we had used for previous definitions for our resource site. This writer did an okay job, but I still found myself wasting time editing his stuff, which basically wiped out the efficiency of someone else doing some work. Writer #1 bailed on doing the shoes, and needless to say, I wasn't too upset about it.

Then, a week later, I got samples from writer #2. This writer sent over samples, which I promptly edited and sent back. After a short conference call with too many people, this writer was out. Another week passes...

Writer #3 sent samples, which never even made it to me. The contact that works between me and this writer sent them back with a "strong letter," hoping to get some better quality stuff. After a day or so (I am assuming, since I didn't know that we were trying another one), he sent revised samples. These made it past the middleman, and I took a look.

I won't post a sample of this work for the sake of that person, but I was floored. This was a second draft, mind you, and things like mispelling "perfect" as "prefect" shouldn't have been present. Sentences with missing words, missing punctuation and other commonplace errors plagued these samples. I couldn't believe that someone would finish this work, look at it and say to himself, "Self, that's some damn fine writing. Let's e-mail it off!"

The search continues, but it continues with me. I will not accept shit work when it's going onto our site which I have worked so hard to make right. I have gone through and edited tons of the work from the person who was here before me, trying to make everything grammatically correct and smooth. In my opinion, if you can't spell shit right on your website, I doubt you put too much emphasis on any other professional aspects of your business.

I know that I am a perfectionist, but I can give a little lee-way, too. However, if you want to be a professional writer, be it freelance or full-time, you have to get fundamentals right. You may be a creative mother fucker, but if you write like a fourth grader, you might as well write on toilet paper, because all I will do with it is wipe my ass.

***Sense my increasing anger? That's called voice. Note that I do it without frowny faces or using "u" instead of "you."***

Here's today's hasty generalization: Language arts teachers have given up. English is hard to teach. You have more grading than most other instructors, and you can't use Scantron sheets, either. Too many teachers have gotten lazy, passing students with poor skills on to the next grade level, perpetuating a generation of fucktards.

***I'll say this now before I continue: There are students and teachers who are exceptions to this rule, just like with any other stereotypical situation. With that in mind, I continue.***

There are students in college right now who cannot write over an 8th grade level. This isn't bullshit; I have seen their work. Simple things that should be taught at the earliest age are ignored. What happens to these students? How the hell do they even get into college? They take an ACT or SAT test (whatever it is nowadays; I'm old as dirt), and are funneled into beginning English classes. These classes basically rehash the education they should have received in four years of high school in four months. At the end of the semester, either they are promoted to the next level of class or they flunk. The majority of them are passed.

Reason number one for college administrators to allow lower admission standards, and probably the prime motivator for letting these idiots into our higher education system: MONEY. A student who has to take remedial classes before they even start their core curriculum pay more into the university's pockets, and tend to be in college longer than an average or above average student. Even if they have dropped out, they have gotten at least one semester of tuition, incidental fees, parking permits, book rentals and other fees. It's sickening, and it's getting worse.

***I'm not going to research and provide sources on these ideas unless you pay me and print me. These are my thoughts, and I think they make sense.***

Because too many people have associated college with a "must do," too many idiots are getting into school. In turn, our work force suffers at the base level. Work for professionals in a skilled trade industry is booming, yet fewer high school grads choose a technical training school or similar education experience. Why? Because Americans attach a stigma to people who actually work for a living.

"Oh, you're a welder? What; did you have trouble finishing homework?" Here's a staggering truth:

Right now, working 6/10's (the typical week), a pipeline welder will gross $4000
per week not including the benefit package. Only around $2900 of that is taxable
income. The breakdown is $41/hr on the man, $15/hr on the rig, 41.50/day per
diem, plus a benefit package (insurance, pension) of $16.70.

How's that liberal arts degree treating you?

We have coddled the new generation of students to believe that sub-par work is still passable. For most average students, they have been able to do the minimum to get by for their entire lives, and because we have perpetuated the "Trophy-for-last-place" mentality, they think that
their sub par work will actually cut it in the real world. This is reinforced by the university
system that over the last ten years, has continued to institute a "university studies" program
that boils down to two years of high school education that you pay for.

Teachers, please teach your students. If your students are shitty writers, do not pass their work. Do not give "good tryer" awards. Education is about enlightening young minds and directing them to do what is considered intellectual and correct. High school students who cannot tell the difference between "to," "too" and "two" should not graduate.

It's already affecting the world. Far too many (yes, that's the right "too") businesses have professionally produced promtional materials like signs and brochures that have misplaced apostrophes and other grammatical errors. Web blogs and internet posts are plagued with
horrible writing, and no one really seems to care.

Writers, have some self-respect. Unless you are a fourteen year-old girl in Provo, Utah, a
sentence like "OMG, I cant beleive what u typed on ~corey~'s page 2day!" should make you want to stab yourself in the eye with a pencil. STOP BASTARDIZING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

I watched a movie recently, and it seemed eerily accurate. It's called "Idiocracy," and portrays the downfall of mankind due to the changing face of natural selection. Check it out; the movie
sucks but it makes a damn good point.

***

So, the search continues for a good writer. I hope to find one soon, but if not, I'll survive;
I'll just have to write about stupid dress shoes that I think are boring as shit.
Do u no any good riters?

One Love,
D