The Resolution

I bought a book about a year ago titled "The Resolution for Men" by authors/brothers Stephen and Alex Kendrick. I bought this book, ready to read it and make the lifestyle changes that would accompany it.

The first page of text after the ISDN info and the Table of Contents reads as follows:

"Weak men will not be able to handle the contents of this book.
The Resolution is not for the faint of heart, and those who commit to it will be more accountable in the future.
You will be challenged to get out of your comfort zone, work through hidden issues from your past, and make strategic sacrifices for the sake of your family and your faith.
But those who step up to the challenge will find that living out the Resolution will radically impact their priorities and assist them in becoming strong men who are found faithful.
It will take courage.But it will be worth it all.
You've been warned."

I read this passage about a year ago, and set my mind to reading the entire book. I found this book today, hidden amongst some other random papers. I started to use "discarded" instead of hidden, but then I realized that there was a conscious moment (I don't recall how long ago) where I must have been cleaning house and began just piling things in a box. I'm sure my intent at the time was to take the box into my room and go through these things individually, but like so many other things I plan to do, it fell by the wayside.

When I found it, I felt a wash of shame. I had a rough day today, mainly because I let my impatience and frustrations get the best of me. I found myself "rollercoastering"-- going from shaking-angry to patient and loving the next-- on several occasions with my family.

Today should have been very stress free, frankly. Last week was hell, and now that the show marathon and radio auction have passed, I can focus on some other important projects. Today was on my mental calendar as a day to unplug from all of the stress-inducing stuff and focus on house and home, and although I got several projects accomplished (cleaned gutters, installed new exhaust tip on truck, changed the dining room light dimmer before the place caught on fire and cleaned the living room some), I still feel like a good portion of the day was wasted in sulking and snapping.

I have prayed about my behavior today, and I feel that the Lord is now talking to me, redirecting my train of thought and reminding me of the blessings I have to soothe the stress and drama, even as I write this.

Currently listening to:

So back to the book. The other emotion I recalled as I found this book was my sense of self-doubt that I felt when I first read that foreword. I am now certain that is why it ended up in a box: I was too scared and selfish to commit to what it asked of me. Still, even at 38 years old, too immature to take on God's challenge through these brothers to men. Still... Still not a man.

Now is the time. Now is the time to move forward and strengthen what I have built with God and my family. Thicken the bonds of commitment-- to my God and His Church, to my wife and my children, to my boss and my coworkers.

This book shall be read. Avenues are being pursued to use me as God leads me. Time to follow 1 Corinthians 13:11...

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."

Onward and upward. And if you want to join me on this journey, let me know. You're welcome to watch from the shore, but eventually my ship will drop below the horizon. Would love to have you on deck for this adventure.

D